Our Red Threads To Lina

"An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but never break."

Chinese Legend

As I think back to a year ago today, the day we got the “call”. I can’t help but notice many red threads that connected us to Lina.

I remember the social worker (our social worker was not in the office that day) actually called Ken to tell us of a possible referral. She called Ken because they assumed I would be teaching, though I was on spring break at the time. This referral was not a sibling group (as we wanted), but Ken still told the social worker that we would need to talk to me first. I know that, indeed, if the woman called me, I would have said no thank you right away. Her calling Ken would be one of many red threads that connected us to Lina that day.

After Ken had called me with the (as he put it) interesting phone call, we decided that it would be better to stick to the original plan of waiting for a sibling group. I called the social worker back and declined the referral. After that, I called my parents who ultimately convinced me that we really needed more time to think about this longer. With the possibility of this becoming very real, the butterflies fluttered in my stomach. Perhaps they were carrying another connecting red thread to my heart.

I called the social worker back and told/begged her that though we said “no” already, we actually needed more time to think about this referral. She told me that since they had not yet called another family with regards to this child, we could still have some time to think and decide. When speaking of red threads, this was the point of the day that made me think “it was meant to be.”

All we knew at the time was there was a child who was 16 months old waiting in Russia for us to be his/her parents, and that we had 2 hours to decide. We were told by a friend that either decision we made that day was going to be the right decision, and with a blessing from another friend and our parents, we finally decided to accept this referral.

Perhaps the thickest red thread of all was knowing that though we would never be able to announce we were pregnant, from that day on, it did not matter anymore. Even though all we knew of our child was that he/she was 16 months old, we felt as connected to him/her as if they grew inside me.

For red threads, I will forever be grateful. They connected us to Lina, who as destiny would have it, would turn us from a couple to a forever family.

Happy Easter and Other Ramblings

We had a very busy but fun Easter weekend. Karen, Lina’s day care provider did an egg hunt with the kids both Thursday and Friday. I was happy because at least she would know what to do when it came time for the “real” thing! Lina absolutely loved looking for Easter eggs. She was pointing around in all different directions saying “egg”, then would run around to try to find them. She was so cute, and it just made me so content to watch my daughter get so much joy out of such a simple thing. What a wonderful first this was for our family.

Our Easter weekend started Friday night when Lina and I colored eggs. She mostly liked watching me do all of the work while she sat and marveled at the eggs coming out of the colored water.


On Saturday, we traveled to Ken’s parent’s house to celebrate the holiday with his side of the family. Lina and her cousins had a blast looking for eggs, and breaking them (the plastic eggs) open to find chocolate inside. The weather was warm enough that we were able to hide the eggs over and over again.

The Easter bunny delivered Lina’s basket during nap time. He knew that since Ken had to work in the morning it was okay to make a special late delivery! Lina came downstairs and had a great time ripping through her basket to see all of the goodies. She loves her new jump rope but cannot figure out how to jump with it! We spent time outside for a short while looking for eggs, but the weather was too cold to re-hide them over and over again. Picture this: at one point, she had an egg (hard boiled) in each hand, went to clap and practically made egg salad right there outside. It was just so innocent. We had a nice low-key dinner with my parents and one of my brothers who dropped by while driving through our town.

I hope that everyone had a great Easter weekend, and if this is your first one with your child that it was as special for you as it was for us.

In other news, I will be eager to post next week with how Lina does at her first sleepover at grammy and grandpa’s this weekend. Since tax season ends this week, Ken and I are planning a day away. We both are looking forward to this so much, and though Lina does not know it yet, she will just love being spoiled.

Also, over the past few months I have been feeling the blogging blues. I’m sure you have noticed with my lack of posts! I contemplated ending the blog and changed my mind again a number of different times. I am happy to say though, that I am finding my interest again. Truly, it is not fair that I follow at least 10 different blogs weekly, get disappointed when they don’t update regularly then turn around and not update myself. So, here starts my new leaf!

And just because I can’t resist…here is one more cute picture…

Counting and Spring

Things have been pretty busy in our home lately. Between Ken being in the thick of tax season and I settling back into the school year, there has not been time left over for blogging. So, apologies for the lapse in posting.

Since my last post, we celebrated seven months home with Angelina. We are getting the biggest kick out of Lina’s newest skill. Since Lina came home, whenever we would walk up or down stairs, I would count them out loud. Now that she has become more vocal, she now counts stairs with me. However, it does not stop there. Lina has turned into a counting machine lately! She loves to count on her fingers, count the bites of food that she eats, and counts the pieces of food on her plate. Currently, she is counting from 1-13, pretty successfully most of the time. I am working on trying to capture this on video, but it has proven to be difficult as when Lina sees the camera, her hands go up in front of her face. Little turkey.

On another note, we are starting to see many signs of spring here in New Hampshire! We have had so much snow I was wondering if this was ever going to happen. I am so excited to get Lina outside this spring. She has grown a ton and has gotten so much stronger since she has been home, I know that she is going to enjoy running around and playing on her swing set so much more now than in the fall.

This Sunday it was actually nice enough to go outside without a hat and even with a spring jacket on! Here are some pictures of Lina enjoying her first ice cream stand visit of the season!

A Busy Vacation

My school vacation week is wrapping up tonight. Lina and I had so much fun being home together, our week was full of different adventures. I have not forgotten how wonderful it is to be home with my daughter, but I did forget how very tiresome (and sometimes hard!) it truly is to be home all day with her.

I will leave you our week in pictures:

We started the week by celebrating various birthdays at both sets of grammy's houses. It was a full weekend of presents and cake! Lina got this wonderful shopping cart where the basket actually comes out and she can carry it around by itself. She has been shopping all around the house this week.

We spent a morning at Bounce U. Lina had a blast but was a bit too young still to fully enjoy the equipment by herself. I helped her bounce and slide on everything, Mama was ready for a nap that day!

Because we had so much fun in January, Lina, Grammy and I took a trip to Boston to visit the Children's Museum again. Again, Lina had a blast, and Mama was ready for a nap after!

About mid-week, Lina came down with a cold, so the last few days of our vacation were pretty low-key. Of course, trying on Mama's moose hat was very fun.

And, though there is house full of expensive toys, Lina would rather just use the vacuum cleaner as a horsey.

Finally, She Is Starting To Get It...

I still rock Lina at bedtime, mostly because its the one time of day she will just relax in my arms and not want to be on the go. We usually spend 15-20 minutes together before I put her to bed for the night. Over the past few weeks, she has started something new which has just been melting my heart.

She will tap herself on her chest and say, “Leeenaa”. Then she will tap me on the chest and say, “Mama.” Then, she will point at the door and say, “Papa”. (Ken is out of the room at this point) She will do this about 5 times in a row until she is content with herself, then will settle in and enjoy being rocked.

I think Lina is finally starting to understand her place, along with ours, in the family. What a great feeling.

6 Months Home & Day Care Update

Tomorrow marks 6 months home! I have not given a great description of Lina’s progress lately, so here it goes, please forgive my wordiness!

Lina has always enjoyed eating, hence the 6 pound weight gain during the first four months home! Lately, she has been trying and enjoying different types of fruits and raw vegetables. This is such a change from the summer when she would just spit these things out. Just this past week, I gave her cold cereal with milk for the first time, complete with a big bowl and spoon…she just loves it. It’s quite interesting to watch her eat it.

We have seen huge strides with Angelina’s language development. Though she is not stringing words together to form small sentences, her vocabulary grows by leaps and bounds weekly. She tries to say everything we say ( I realize we are at the point where Ken and I need to start watching what we say). Some highlights are: “luv—ou”, “neeena” (Lina), “okay”, “down-tair” (downstairs), “mamee” (grammy), and “peeeez” (please). She also will finally point to each of us and call us Mama, Papa, and herself Lina.

With regards to attachment, I am happy to say that we still are seeing progress. Sometimes, the progress is painfully slow and not to the point where we would like to be. Then, we see where we have come from, and I feel so much better. I go through stages where all I do is think about the “A” word, and tend to drive myself crazy with what Lina is doing and not doing yet. Then, I have to remind myself that we have only been home 6 months and the attachment process is just that, a process. I love that Lina loves to cuddle with us and wants us to hold her, and brings us into her play all of the time. I don’t love that she still is very comfortable with strangers (minus her grandfather who she shies away from regularly) and that she shows no separation anxiety when I drop her off at her day care. I know these things will come with time; I just need to remember that attachment is a process.

Recently, Lina has become quite the little helper. She loves to help me unload the dishwasher, and set the table. She likes to fold the clothes with me, and asks for napkins when she sees me dusting and wiping of the counters. She loves to have us read to her, and sing to her. I do believe that music will be very important to her one way or another while she grows. Potty training was going well, but now is on the back burner as we make our transition into day care. Speaking of day care, she is doing very well at Karen’s house. Karen (her day care provider) says that Lina is starting to interact more with the other kids and she is happy and plays well with others. She eats and sleeps well there as well. I could not be happier that she is acting well while in Karen’s care. She has developed this lovely, loud screech that she has been using this past week. Let me set the scenario: I leave the room (screech), I switch the laundry (screech), I turn my back to make dinner (screech). You get the picture. I am sure this is just an attention seeking behavior, and Ken and I have chosen to ignore it. Hopefully this too will pass. Other than the deafening screech, we have not noticed much of a change with regards to our new schedule, besides the fact that Lina is just so tired at night, for that I am glad. A good tuckering out is perfect for a two-year-old.

Again, sorry for the long post. If you are still with me, here are two pictures. One taken the first week home, and one taken just yesterday. What a difference!

New Routines

I look back over the past five and a half months and wonder where the time has gone. I remember so vividly everything about the day we took Angelina in our arms forever. How she looked at her Papa with such innocence in her eyes and how she held her mouth out for me to feed her. How she fell asleep peacefully in the two arm chairs that we had to put together and line with numerous blankets. Now, 5.5 months later, I sit here on the brink of returning to work, wondering again where the time has gone.

Lina will be going to a small day care. The woman works from her home and is my girlfriend’s mother-in-law. I have all confidences in this woman and think she does an excellent job with the kids. On a full day, she cares for 7 children, and most days Lina will be one of three or four. This has brought me great peace of mind as the last thing I wanted was for Angelina to feel in any way that she was being brought back to an institution-like situation. I like to think that being in a smaller day care will help all of our transitions along and Angelina will not regress too badly. Only time will tell.

Lina has been going to day care for half days this week to ease into her new surroundings. She has been doing well, which makes me happy. I have not seen too much of a regression yet, though we are also not there full time. As I expected, she really is not that upset when I leave and has not gotten really excited when she sees me return. I know that this is because her attachment to us is not complete. I think the day she is upset that I leave her will be the first day I will feel not guilty for leaving her!

I suppose that if I do have to work, then returning to teaching is the best job a mom can have. I will be able to wake Lina up from her naps (that is, of course, if she has not spent the whole 2 hour nap time unzipping her sleeper and taking off her diaper). And, in 90 working days we will be able to enjoy the summer together – but, who’s counting?! I am ready for school, newly equipped with a new frame that has a picture of Lina and some new clothes. (Lesson plans…hmmm…I have no time for those now!)

My only hope is that our new routine does not interrupt our attachment progress or cause damage to the fragile attachment we have begun to secure. Wish us luck.